It’s been quite the couple weeks for me. I went to Maine for a week, fell in “love” and came home in a relationship. I’m not exactly sure even what that means! It’s been three years before I disposed of my last unhealthy relationship. Then I ended up in a long term causal situationship which ended in a lot of heartache.
All my relationships seem to get better; but, I haven’t yet had one that I consider “healthy”.
Earlier in the year, I came to the conclusion that a lot of my relationship problems stemmed from not having a healthy male role model in my life while growing up. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Anyhow, while I was in Maine, I ran into an old friend. After a long time searching for true love she was finally happily married. She had been recruited to her dream job.
Seeing her make all the accomplishments that she aimed at made me very proud. Life is so much better today than it was in our twenties. Everything we worked for is now coming into fruition.
It feels good. Of course I took a different route, becoming location independent and nomadic; but, I feel we are both right where we need and want to be.
That said – as I’m finalizing my first winter season in Florida and about to embark on my first summer in Maine, I’m worried. I’m worried somehow I’ll get stuck in central Maine without any way to escape back to the Sunshine State.
Most of this journey has been mental and emotional. Yes, it was also physically hard to get back and forth; but, teaching my family and friends that the distance was not going to kill anyone was the hardest part.
I’ve been making small timely strides at my short term goals all while keeping my long term goals in mind. My entire life I’ve been paddling against the currents of society trying to get to land. I am still in the water. The journey is long and often I feel like I can’t breathe. With all the objections and naysayers, I often doubt myself about my own objectives.
It’s not easy to have a vision that no one else can see. People just don’t get it. They say, “Give up, come home.” or “Leave Maine behind and stay put.”. I don’t know if a period should go there ‘cause I suck at grammar. And I don’t think anyone really gets it.
They don’t get it because working a normal nine to five job is all they want. It’s not what I want. I want passive income. I want to travel and know more than one city. I want to leave my mark on this world. I haven’t quite figured out what that mark is saying; but, I know it’s going to be epic whatever I decide to do. Right now, I’m still researching and finding my way.
I don’t want to fade. I’m not ready to lay down yet and give up my goals.
I’m confused sometimes. I’m a hormonal girl sometimes; but, trust assure all these balls that are in the air aren’t just for show. I do have something in mind; and, I plan to achieve what I set out to do.
Keep paddling people. Life is short and the currents will always be there when you fall.